It didn't used to be. I'd wake up every morning pretty much ready to tell each and every stranger to "Fuck Off!". Not that I ever really followed through with that, me being an old school people pleaser, but trust me, that's what was raging on the inside. It would usually find it's way out and spew all over the people closest to me of course, lo siento mi compadres. It's always been "a mood" that I could nestle my ass in and swing with.
And yet, I have wandered away from that particular playground over the past year. No more merry-go-rounds, no more slides, no more rides on the mood swings just because it felt so good just before I dropped from the top, no more senseless tangled up may poles for me thanks. I have been on a different path. Skipping you ask? Oh no, not hardly. I'm not much of a skipper, but thoughtfully plodding down the path of my life, trying to gently move the stones in my way instead of kicking them into the paths of others.
And yet today, I am standing at the fence with my hands clenched around the links and my face pressed so hard against it that the checkerboard pattern will definitely take a few days to dissipate. I am ready to take a rock and hear the snap of my slingshot as I shoot one person in particular right smack in the head. I will not do it. I can not do it, because it's not who I truly am. But ewwwwwwww, this darkness seems pretty damn comfortable right now. Sometimes it's so hard not to scale the fence and play....
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