Holy Crap and the Glory of Stretch

Yes.  I am going to be 40 in just a few short months.  Yes.  That means I am a totally rad child of the 80's.  I was pinch rolling joints as well as my jeans before Fast Times even came out.  This was way before the zippers in the ankles came and you would have to arch your foot juuuust so to be able to get the fucking pants on if you had the money to get the skinny legged jeans.  And there was absolutely no sexy way to get out of them.  Your paramore would literally have to jerk you halfway across the bed or bench seat to get your pants off.  It's no small stretch to see how our generation made BDSM more acceptable.  Yes, it was partly the music, but it was also the violent acts of removing the skinny legged jeans and tighter than tight Jordaches, Z Cavaricci's and Gloria Vanderbilts.  Then of course the Levi Button Fly 501's saved all the cool kids and we only had to teach our men how to adeptly rip open all 5 buttons at the correct angle.  You knew you had a guy who knew his away around if he could get that accomplished without getting stuck on a button!

Why am I on this old school clothing rant you ask?  Because I bought a new pair of jeans today.  They are a pair of Levi Low Rise Stretch Skinny Leg jeans.  I said when I saw them coming back in that there was no way in HELL I was ever getting back into a pair of those fucking jeans.  Been there, done that, ain't doin' again.  Weeeeellllllll, HOLY CRAP, I've done did it!  And I gotta tell ya, the Glory of Stretch is a goddamn MIRACLE!!!  No wiggling and wriggling, laying on the bed holding my breath to get them up over my ass.  No special foot contortion or even ankle zippers required.  And they came off without having to be peeled inside out!  AMAZING!

I don't pay full price for ANYTHING, especially clothes.  I bought these today at the AZ Trading Company along with the CUTEST Doc Marten calf boots that tie in the back and fit PERFECTLY over the new skinnies.  I am SO excited.  Wendy O Williams would think I looked hot enough to throw me an elbow!  And I could totally take it in these boots and jeans.  I am a happy almost 40 year old.  All I need now is a new pair of Chuck Taylors or Checkerboard Vans and Camp Shirt with shoulder pads and I'm 13 again.  All right.  That'd just be pathetic.  I'll stick with what I've got!  I'm feelin' totally tubular right now!  Can you see me throwin' up the rock fist???  :)