No. 1: CONSTANT VIGILANCE. I got an e-mail referring to a need to have "constant vigilance". It hit me wrong. It's seems rather redundant and the mere thought of it makes me tired. It's wierd, I'm o.k. with being "ever vigilant" but "constantly"? Sigh. Reeeeally? No. I'm too damn lazy to do anything CONSTANTLY.
No. 2: KIOSK. I was reading the Mongolian Girl's blog (at http://www.thecusp.wordpress.com/ GO) and she was musing on buying a new cell phone and possibly getting another carrier. This made me think about how much I truly hate cell phone companies and their KIOSKS. They force us to commit to YEARS with them and they can't even commit to a place for their workers that doesn't have fucking wheels on it? Sigh. Reeeeally. No. I don't want to deal with Joe Jock that totally thought he'd be able to get a better job.
No. 3: FATTIES. At least the report on the over 5000 people who got dumped off the beautifulpeople.com website because they're too fat to be beautiful anymore. WTF is WRONG with people? Ya know what I think? GOOD. I'm glad you got your fat ugly ass kicked off that site. You fuckin' deserved it for being so vain that you signed up for it in the first fuckin' place. I hope it hurts like hell for you to realize how shallow you once were. Go drown in some gravy and get a fucking real life. Unfortunately, they're all probably too fucking stupid to realize the people still on there are the ugly ones and they'll starve themselves fighting to get back on the site. I hope they get a spiked heel in the eye crawling over one another to get back to the top of the pile of pretty meat.
No. 4: DEAFNESS. Nooooooo, not deaf PEOPLE or even the actual impairment of being DEAF. I'm talkin' about ME here folks, PAY ATTENTION TO ME! I have had such a massive influx/outflux of snot with this cold I've had for a week and a half, that for the past 5 days, I have been DEAF. ME. CAN'T FRIGGIN' HEAR. I don't like it. I want it to stop. I want to be able to stop tilting my head to listen to people and still not being able to understand what the the hell they're saying. I look dangerously insane. (Please refer to Learn to Speak Body: Tape 5 on YouTube if you do not understand my "dangerously insane" reference.)
No. 5: UP. And other children's movies that people (like me) who don't have children think they can't watch because they don't have children. I watched UP the other day and am sick of trying to find people who can relate to me saying, "It is funny, because the squirrel gets dead." That line in and of itself made the entire movie worth watching for me. If you haven't seen it, DO IT. If you have seen it, gawd bless you and I love squirrels.
KIOSK! Oh kiosk, how I love you so. You've given me long cell phone contracts, cheap candy, some of the best knock off purses EVER, and many, many pairs of cheap-ass winter gloves when I was in a hurry. Thank you, Kiosk. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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