Do you ever look around you and think, "JEEZUS! How did I get here????"? That's where I'm finding myself this morning. I looked around my place while I was putting my shoes on and thought, "Gawd. This place looks like a crack den." (And yes, even though I've never actually done crack, I've been to some dens, the first one before I even knew what crack was! Country girls can be pretty naive in the big city.) But I just wandered off topic... which, seems to be my life lateley... can't finish.
I'm tieing my shoes and wondering how the hell it can be April 8th already. I have been on a constant run for at the very least the last month straight. Every single weekend I have had somewhere else to be other than home. It's wearin' on me. I like activity. I do. I'm hyper by nature. But, I really NEED to have some time in my own space, in my own mind. I know that even then, I have things to do. I have a place to clean up from the tornado of me that's been coming and going. Laundry and dishes are done regularly, but everything else has gone to shit. I need to de-clutter. I need to dust. I need to vacuum. Clean the bathroom. Clean the garage. Clean the basement office. File. Re-pot plants. Organize the mess that is the entertainment center. Put away movies and video games where they go.
Outside is matching the inside right now.
Inside jobs to be done are just as mountainous. I need to read my book from my therapist. I WANT to finish reading the three books I've started reading. I need to work on the two writing assignments my therapist gave me last week. I need to start writing on my 6th Step. I need to blog and journal more.
Last weekend on my bike, the wind blew my mind clear of lots of things, but it didn't get rid of the tasks that need doing in my life. I feel like I'm running out of time, ALL the time. Schedule full, check back next month.
I am neglecting myself. I can feel it. It's time to slow down and take stock of me again. Let's see, where can I fit that in...? Maybe next week. I'm out of town again this weekend...
